Bored as I was, I decided to open my iTunes and shuffle my songs and talk about the song that started once I hit play. (Something about myself is the fact that I believe in fate. I believe that things happen for a reason.) So when I did this random action, the song I got was “Last Hope” by Paramore, and for me, this song means the world.
You see, I like to dig a little deeper when it comes to music. I search and dissect each word and how it can relate to my life, to my self, to my being. Well, this song in particular just hits the spot.
Along my college years, I lost hope. I lost my faith and well, it was actually during this summer that I decided to try and get back that faith, that hope, and that love that I had for myself and my life.
This song was like an anthem for many months. Every day, I’d wake up and think just like the song said…
“Gotta let it happen… Gotta let it happen…”
But that hope never came back to me. Until this summer, that is. It was indeed, just a spark, but it did happen. And when I thought that there was no one around, I realized that everyone was around. Everyone who mattered was around. I was loved, I was cherished, I was remembered. There are many people in this world who know how it feels like to lose hope, to lose faith, to lose the spark in one’s life. But I’m sure that there are many more people in this world who probably know the feeling of finally seeing that spark, and feeling that blood pump through their veins and feeling deep deep inside that Life. IS. Worth. Living.
“And the blood in these veins isn’t pumping any less than it ever has… And that’s the hope I have, the only thing I know that’s keeping me alive…”
I had to let it happen, and even if it was dark, and even if it took me around four years, I’ve slowly let it happen. I’m slowly, and truthfully, getting my hope back. Yes, I’m still in the process of turning my spark into a firework, but hey, I have to take it one step at a time, right?
Until our next time,